Winning Entry

My husband and Rodger and I have been together almost 28 years. When we first met I was a single mother with an 11 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. I was fiercely independent and as a palm reader once exclaimed upon examining my hand, "intolerant of restraint"! I had given up on the childhood fantasy of a white knight riding into my life and finding everlasting love. Sadly, by the young age of 30 I was the one who was armored and worn out after years of fighting for survival for my small family. One hurtful and disappointing relationship after another had left my heart hardened and unapproachable.

Then one night almost 3 decades ago a friend invited me to a dinner party with the explicit intention of introducing me to her brother. I had been hearing about him for weeks. I can still recall today the thrill of expectation and curiosity as I heard his car pull up outside my friend's house and hearing his footsteps on her porch. He walked through the door and we were introduced. There was not a wild erotic pull to him. The closest way I can explain the feeling I felt in his presence that night, was like "coming home". I felt like I had finally arrived at the place I had been seeking since the day I was born. As he left that night we made a date for the following weekend. Each night during that week he would call and we would talk for hours. We met for our dinner date at his house and I never left again except to gather my belongings and children and head back to his "sanctuary".

I wish I could say that our happy story ended by continuing on in this seemingly effortless beginning. However over the years the complications and struggle to blend our family, along with a new child, pre-teen hormones, and a new business became tantamount to having a picnic in the middle of a tornado. Inside I began to anticipate another "abandonment" by another man and in self-protection began to push Rodger away. However this man refused to let me leave physically or emotionally. No matter what I did (and my behavior was atrocious at times) he would always come to me in the night after the storm of the day. In the peaceful darkness as we would lie in bed he would take me in his arms and no matter how hard I resisted he would tell me how much he loved me, how beautiful I was, and that I was safe and he would always take care of me.

I wish I could say I responded immediately to his unconditional love. But I tested him fiercely. I wondered at his strength and commitment to me. In the end I came to believe that he was able to love me so strongly as he was "the first born and only beloved son" who was adored and raised in a wealthy, stable spiritual family. Eventually under Rodger's relentless love, I began to heal and blossom.

As our children grew up and left home we experienced a new honeymoon period, we fell deeper and deeper in to love and passion. We grew connected in a passion that was fueled from the fires of Rodger's unconditional love and my healing.

A few years later when Rodger's father died suddenly, his mother who was suffering from Alzheimer's came to live in our home. She was frightened, disoriented and I was haunted by the terror I often saw in her eyes. As the mother of the man who had literally rebirthed my soul and spirit I felt a deep affinity for her and her wellbeing. Some part of me acknowledged that it was this woman and her mothering skills that was responsible for the ability of her strong remarkable son to love and nurture me.

With the advice of a local Alzheimer's support group and the medical care of a specialist, I began a course of treatment that included the latest medications, weekly massages and evening candlelight baths. Every other evening I would fill my old claw foot tub with scented bubble bath and light a candle. Sometimes for almost an hour I would bath her just as I had my own babies. As I washed her hair and then her body with one of my white washcloths I would try and convey in my touch, the gratitude and love I felt for her. We hardly ever spoke as words were losing their meaning for her. But one night she looked at me in a moment of clarity, "Christie no one in my life has ever done this for me". I looked back into her eyes, aware that this might be the last moment of clear connection between us and told her, "Kathy, I am honored to care for you. It is my way of thanking you for raising such a wonderful son. If it were not for Rodger and his love I cannot imagine what would have happened to me."

For me sustainable love is raising children that are healthy both physically and emotionally. It is also recognizing, acknowledging and cherishing those rare precious beings that bring true meaning and love to you and your life. Ultimately these are the seeds that will flourish for generations.

2nd Place

My husband and I met a month before I broke my back and became paralyzed from the waist down. To the shock of everyone who knew me, he stayed with me, and over the nearly five years we've known each other he has helped me progress from wheelchair, to walker, to canes and finally to one cane when needed. I could never have done it without him.

When we met, I had been planning to undergo training to become a naturalist. I'd volunteered at an outdoor school for middle-schoolers and fell in love with the work - hiking in the redwoods, exploring tide pools, and most importantly, teaching the kids to respect the earth and to try to keep their environmental impact in mind every day.

Tragically, with my injury, this future was no longer an option for me. I am not yet up to being able to hike anywhere, though I hold out hope that someday a combination of my own will and scientific breakthrough will make my dream possible. In the meantime, I still enjoy observing the world around me. My husband has quite a reverence for nature as well, as his favorite hobby is nature photography. Some day he hopes he could make a career of this, and I am confident that he has the talent.

Respect for the environment is one of the many things that attracted us to each other in the first place. We do not have much money, but we have each other. ~ JW & DW

3rd Place

Dawn: the fleeting moments before four pitter pattering feet descend on our family bed. I watch him sleep curled into brown sheets as the first shards of light pour in through the shuttered windows and cascade across his skin.

His hands are strong, tan and beginning to weather with age. Mine always feel small in comparison, fingers weaved through his. Or children’s fingers wrapped around his thumb, his hands wrapped around their waists, hoisting them into the air in acts of Superbabies, finding tickle spots, healing boo-boos.

His eyes are closed still. I am anxious to jab him in the ribs under some false pretense of bitchiness hoping to wake him, to see their green brilliance, their laughing spark at some personal joke I have not learned yet. Instead I let him grab the last few minutes of sleep for his own.

In the next room a bottle drops, in our house: the international sign for “prepare yourself”. A bed creaks and a few seconds latter the stirring of one set of feet hits the ground and begins to grow. The second is soon to follow. The first stops at the bedroom door and waits for the second, taller one to catch up. The door handle turns and two bouncing girls make a bee-line for their sleeping father.

A grin begins to form across his face as he rolls over and catches one flying monkey in midair. The grin becomes the heart warming smile that sold me on him all those years ago as a tickle fest begins.

Micro-moments wrapped in sustainability, that’s the good stuff. Our love has grown now since the days when it was just boy and girl. Somewhere along the way it grew to boy (with grey hairs), girl (in eternal beauty), 2 baby girls, 1 fluffy dog and a garden full of plants. You’d think stretched that thin it would be frail, but it’s stronger than ever. We had ups and downs, break-ups and battles, lost jobs and loved ones, but each obstacle was just an exercise to strengthen our bond. It’s easy to get lost in the stress and chaos of life, but so much harder to get lost in the moment. Sustainability is those moments.