Here is the first and most important thing to know about using personal lubricant: it will perform at its best when you reach for the bottle until you can’t wait another minute. Said differently, a good personal lubricant is a penetration device, which means that it offers a slippery glide to extend and comfort intimate friction. It gives you more time to try different positions and reminds the body about the power of secretions. All of these are valuable attributes of a good, clean healthy lubricant.

Here is what lubricant doesn’t do: It doesn’t turn on your arousal mechanism. Lubricant doesn’t help you find your sexy internal space that fires up to welcome someone into the deepest part of you. Lubricant, even the best in the world, will not prevent you from having pain if you are not ready to be penetrated. Readiness, opening and arousal are the pre-qualifying events for good lubricant performance.

It is understandable that many people believe that personal lubricant is the answer to every sexual issue. Some of my biggest competitors spend tens of millions of dollars every year falsely advertising that fallacy and using a ton of nasty petrochemicals to drive it home. The advertising success is due in part to to the overwhelming desire that most of us have for great sex, as well as an acceptance for the “need” of lubricant.

Over 80% of the US population has used lubricant at some point. Pay attention to the ingredients in your lubricant. Much of the intimacy product market is still dominated by petrochemical- based products with carcinogenic preservative systems. Respect the most sensitive tissue in your body with natural and organic ingredients.

And here is the best advice still: don’t rush it. Take this dare- double the time of your foreplay activity and then reach for a bottle oflube. You will be amazed how the longer you wait, the better it is.

--Wendy Strgar, Loveologist