“We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking.”  ~Steve Elber

As a culture, our diet often suffers from the overwhelming demands of schedule and time constraints; we pick up food on the run and call it a meal. Even when we take the time to prepare a meal at home, we often eat it in front of a screen, eating quickly and mindlessly. Taking the time to taste our food is a luxury many of us don’t know we are missing. We leap to the main course, over eating but never really filling up.

In many ways our sexual drive sadly gets the same treatment. We take the sensuous part of our humanity for granted, forgetting the power that scent has in waking up our memory, sexuality  and emotions. It is well documented that people who become anosmic, suffer not only a significant drop in their ability to taste, but to emote. Thus, sexual drive plummets.

Learning to pay attention to scent and the associated tastes is a form of building a sensory vocabulary.Taking the time to savor our senses makes life rich. Nowhere is that more true than in our intimate lives. Thinking about your sex life like a gourmet meal both takes the pressure off of any preconceived ideas of the main event and opens a gateway to the wonders of what it means to be a sexual being.

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Listen in as Wendy explores the best sex guide on the market: The Guide to Getting it On with author Paul Joannides. In its sixth edition, filled with over 900 pages of practical skill based lessons and a balanced, healthy emotional approach to creating a satisfying and evolving sex life. Don’t miss one of the masters of sexual education talk about the core of sexual education and health.

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“Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex.”  Henry Ellis

Who doesn’t want a healthy and satisfying sex life? And yet a substantial and growing percentage of people struggle with low libido and sexual dysfunction issues. Overcoming this challenge in order to benefit from the many emotional and physical benefits of lovemaking should be on the top of your list when you consider that hundreds of major medical studies correlate an active sex life with a longer life, better heart health, a healthier immune response, reduction in chronic pain symptoms, lower rates of depression and even protection against some cancers.

Identifying the top 5 libido killers is a good way to get on track to finding healthy ways to build healthy mental and physical habits to revitalize the passionate side of your life.

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I have a cool job, or as my fifteen year old son would correct me, it is fresh! I get to imagine and then sell amazing love products. My husband bought into the concept because he of course gets to be the primary tester. This is a real perk in a love products company. I have learned a lot about product formulation and ingredients over the years, but what I have learned about love and marriage has been even more inspiring.

So here is the big key that I wish someone had told me years ago – the more you love your partner, the more loving they become. Ever since I started this little love business, our marriage has improved steadily and our sex life is better than any other married couple I know.

Love products are an essential part of any good married life and make great nightstand reminders to love each other. Good love products that are made with natural ingredients should invite the healthy exploration of touch and scent that can often be a more easily understood form of communication. Sometimes it is good to give our words and voices a rest and let our bodies lead us to the communicating and bonding that they carry inside. In fact, after decades of marriage, I would say that it is through the physical conversations that I connect with my husband in ways that words cannot. This connection is where sex is making love.

Good love products should make touching, kissing and smelling each other better. They should be made with natural ingredients that actually interact with your brain and don’t leave nasty and sticky residue on your skin. The products you use for love should make you feel like you love yourself and as far as I am concerned that leaves petro- chemicals out of the mix entirely. Surprisingly over 90% of the OTC lubes available are made with chemicals designed first for cars or oven cleaner. Many women have severe reactions to these products and because they are all made with the same base ingredients; many women come to the false conclusion that they don’t like sex. (It’s the products…)

Scent is the most basic reflex we have when it comes to sexual attraction. Imagine kissing someone who smells bad to you. Love products that capitalize on true scent are actually waking up the limbic part of your brain, where memory, sexuality and emotion are conveniently stored. The gentle nudge of scents gets that arousal mechanism going and after kissing and massaging with aphrodisiac scents, your imagination (which is a really important sex organ) lets loose. Cleopatra knew this; she was known to make love on a bed of rose petals 10 inches deep.

Lubrication is at the core of good feelings in sexuality. When you are young and fit, it is a natural mechanism that just happens, reminding you that you feel sexy. As we age and experience more of life’s cycles (kids, nursing, illnesses and some medications) we often don’t get those messages from our body. The cool thing, or well the fresh thing is this – if you can apply a good and natural lube to your body and wake up those arousal feelings yourself. Anything that is oiled, wet, slick and smooth feels sexier than the same body part dry.

Stay tuned and we will review a variety of love products and toys that you might want to include in your love first aid kit. If you have questions about products or toys send them in and I will be happy to share what I know.

“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.” -John Milton

Long ago, when I first imagined selling love products I called them Sacred Moments. The first labels had a picture of a lit candle surrounded by ancient quotes on the power of physical love to heal the world. My thinking was that there is no moment closer to our source than the moment of deeply physically loving the person you love. Shared orgasmic experience is as close as we get to the divine. That kind of love is awe inspiring and acts on the body like a system reset button.

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“The fire is the main comfort of the camp, whether in summer or winter, and is about as ample at one season as at another. It is as well for cheerfulness as for warmth and dryness.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Probably the best thing I have added to our home is the outdoor fire pit that I picked up for the big middle school graduation party. Surrounded by Adirondack chairs and a gliding bench, it is a ready circle that calls us out of the house to watch the late evening dusk fade to night. Usually it is my kids and their friends that populate the circle, but sometimes, like tonight I go out there and am drawn in by both my memories of summer campfires and the intimacy that sharing a fire creates.

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“Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.” ~Mignon McLaughlin

Annie Dillard wrote: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” I have long been aware of this fact and have used it as a driving force to accomplish as much as I can in each day. In many respects I feel like my drive to get things done, to check off the goals on my list and to remain motivated and focused despite setbacks has served me well. It has also made me tired. I often push through my fatigue, riding a second or third wave of energy when what I really need is rest.

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“The body is a big sagacity, a plurality with one sense, a war and a peace, a flock and a shepherd.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Experiencing life through the body is the truth of the situation. We are of service to our bodies or they will make us serve them. Only one ongoing health condition can change the totality of your life. Even brief illnesses refocus our attention on what in our busy-ness is the stage, the actor and the play of our lives. Actually we know we are well when, after meeting the few daily simple needs of the body, we don’t have to consider it much. Health allows us the freedom to explore the outer ranges of soul and mind.

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Celebrate Earth Day by exploring eco-Sexuality this week with internationally known love writer and blogger, Tina Marie Bernard. She is a top-rated writer of sex, love and relationships for Examiner.com. Her musings are found in a variety of online and print media including Greenprophet.com, More.com, and SheWrites.com, among others. Her studied and lively perspective on everything from tantra, erotica, feminism and the blessings of pleasure are sure to awaken a new understanding of intimacy and answer questions you might not even knew you had. Tinamarie lives in the Middle East and is a great resource for everything that Modern Lovers want to know about. Read her work on Green Prophet or the Examiner.

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“The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Twenty-six years ago today was a Saturday. I know this because I was married at 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Well, at least there was a young woman of 22 who was married that day. I still look vaguely like her, or at least I can remember her in me. I could not have imagined what I was saying I do to in those days. No one can. The promise to walk beside someone for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer… how can you know what that will mean at 22, or even years later? The promise is one that you keep day by day.

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